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Archive for the ‘hope’ Category

I am not feeling too good today. I spoke with my Mother last night on the phone and learned that welts have begun to form in the skin around her right breast area, and they’re getting bigger too. In addition, the doctor informed her a couple of days ago that she definitely needs blood transfusion as her CBC count is very low. My mother is currently taking oral chemotherapy medications for her advanced breast cancer. And anemia is one of the side effects of chemotherapy. My mother is already anemic to begin with.

For those who don’t know, this crisis began a year ago when my Mom got diagnosed of breast cancer. By then, her condition was already advanced and that the cancer has already metastasized to her lymph nodes and skin. Doctors even suspect metastasis on her bones as well. After her mastectomy, she still had some of the itchy “rash” area near her armpit which the doctor said should be addressed with her radiation treatment following her surgery. However, this rash-like apprearance spread and did not respond to the radiation. Her arm and chest are now covered with rough bumpy bits – which we confirmed through a skin biopsy as indeed skin metastasis due to her cancer. My mother had 39 days of radiation therapy. But before that was even over, another crisis hit our family. This time, it’s my father.

My dad was admitted to the hospital due to extreme stomach ache and diarrhea, which later led to bleeding. He was taken to the ICU for observation due to his age (76 yrs) and diabetes. After a colonoscopy, it was confirmed that my dad had a mass in the sigmoid area of his colon (just above the anus) and is 90% obstructing his intestines. And to top it all, his cardiologist discovered that he has multiple clogged arteries in his heart and would need a bypass! His conditiona is called coronary artery disease with triple vessel disease/left main (CAD w/TVD/LM). Whew! When it rains, it really does pour, huh? I can go on and on about what happened, but in a nutshell, since the doctor’s couldn’t perform a normal explore-laparoscopy on my dad due to his weak heart, they did a colostomy instead. This was a quicker procedure whereby they just went in, cut his intestines to redirect it to his tummy inorder to bypass the anus. In short, my dad would now have to poop thru the hole in his tummy into a bag. Am I detailed enough??? Anyways, after 24 days and scary hospital bills — my dad was discharged from the hospital! Glory to God for that! During this time, God gave us peace and strength and favor and provision. He didn’t leave us nor forsake us. He is our refuge indeed in times of trouble. I saw God’s hand move over the life of my dad. He accepted the Lord, and that is the best thing that happened! Halleluiah!

But wait, God must really think that we are very strong. Because everything did not end here. Nope! While my dad was recuperating in the hospital, I took my Mom to have a breast sonogram because I was suspecting that the cancer has already spread to her other breast. And true enough, the lab test confirmed that she has a nodule growing in her right breast. My, oh my. Her surgeon is already advising against mastectomy. She also can’t have any more radiation as she’s already reached her toleration level… so that’s why she is taking an oral chemo now… which is what I spoke with her about last night and why I don’t feel so good today.

A feeling of hopelessness is beginning to rise deep within me again. But I refuse to give in. I refuse to get discourgaged. I refuse to get defeated because I know this is what the enemy wants me to feel. This is a time of warfare for me. And I know that praise is my ONLY weapon. The battle belongs to YOU, Lord, and I know I have the victory in Jesus Christ!

It has been extremely difficult for all of us in the family. And my heart goes out to my parents, to my Mom in particular. She’s been through a lot and have been brave through it all. I know that she’s in pain but wouldn’t like to show it to us because she doesn’t want us to worry. But Lord, I know that Your love for my mother far surpasses mine. Afterall, she is Your daughter too. Sometimes, my earthly mind cannot comprehend the things that you are doing. But who am I to question Your ways? I know that you have allowed all these to happen for a higher purpose.

In the meantime, I pray for grace and supernatural strength for all of us, for my parents especially, that they may be able to fix their eyes on Jesus. Give us eyes of faith that we may be able to see things as they are, though they are not-YET! Your word says NOTHING is impossible to those who believe in You..,…. and we believe, Lord. I believe. Our hope is in You! You are the miracle working Father. You are able. What you have said in Your Word, that You will do – that those who call upon Your name shall be saved. For as long as my parents are breathing, I will continue to stand on your Word. And I believe that my parents shall receive that miracle. I thank you now for that miracle. I thank You Father, for causing my parents to rise up in their bed of affliction … to the praise and glory of Your name. In Jesus name!

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