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Archive for the ‘father depression’ Category

Struggle

Tonight I caught my dad in his room crying. Since the hospital, he has not been eating so well, only about 2 spoonfuls at a time. He said that he does not have the appetite due to the many different kinds of medications he is taking (he has over a dozen to take per day). But I really do think that he is depressed.

This depression is mainly brought about by his situation now – what happened with his heels. And on top of that, he is still mourning the loss of my Mom. A fact that was confirmed when I asked him why he was crying. His answer was “I miss your Mother”. He is sad as he has not been able to go to the cemetery to visit my mother for a few weeks because of his swollen heel.

My father’s reply brought tears to my eyes. We both miss my mother but I guess it hurts him more, being that he was with my mother for nearly 50 years.

But I tried to be strong and I reminded him that Mama is in a better place now. And that I know she would want him to be well again.

The harder part was when he said that he’ll be more lonely when I leave to go back to the U.S. We have a full-time househelp taking care of him, but I know it is still much different when I am around. I know he relies a lot on me now.

I am truly torn. I need to go back to Miami but yet I don’t want to leave my dad. This is a constant struggle in my heart, a very difficult position to be in.

I wish that I can take him with me now, but it is definitely not possible. First, because his heels need to get healed. Second, because I haven’t been able to get him a passport, and consequently we haven’t applied yet for his visa. It is such a long story but the beaurocracy and red-tape in the Philippine government is pretty much the cause of all the slow process. All this time, the only thing I managed to get for him was his birth certificate (late registration). And even so, I still do not have it on hand. I still have to wait for the official copy for month!

So please help me pray for quick healing for his heels, favor for his passport documents and U.S. Visa applications, and financial provision so that we (Joe and I) will be able to get my father to come to the U.S. as soon as possible.

I know he would not want to live in the U.S., but I think a vacation, a change would do him good.

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